Jun. 10th, 2005

weaktwos: (Default)
He received this in his email:

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the
following people are stranded:

Two Italian men and one Italian woman.
Two French men and one French woman.
Two German men and one German woman.
Two Greek men and one Greek woman.
Two British men and one British woman.
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.
Two Vietnamese men and one Vietnamese woman.
Two Irish men and one Irish woman.
Two American men and one American woman.

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman...

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a
menage a trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking
and cleaning for them.

The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started
swimming to another island.

The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Vietnamese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant,
and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply
employees for their stores.

The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set-up a
distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few litres of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.

The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American
woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this Godforsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

I think I'll work on getting my French citizenship, now.
weaktwos: (Default)
I decided to engage in some journalistic voyeurism of sundry drama whores mentioned in some community and came across an amusing Friday Five. I won't mention this person's name, and I won't go into specifics, but I shall summarize the points made in this person's Friday Five:

1. How do you feel about the technology advancements of cloning people and animals?
It frightens me! Plus I don't see the benefit.

2. If this technology became readily available to all, how do you think this will affect the future of our race?
Overpopulation! Lack of natural selection! Maybe even clone wars! (that last part was poetic license and my nod to Star Wars.)

3. If your much loved pet died and cloning was available, would you elect to have your pet cloned? What about family and friends?

No. Nurture creates as much an impact as nature. You wouldn't get the same Snowball.

4. Would your family have your consent to be cloned? Why or why not?
See #3. It just wouldn't be the same! Every asshole is like a stinky, puckered snowflake! (oops, that last line was more poetic license on my part.)

5. If you had the authority to clone any person no longer alive, who would it be any why?
My grampa, so I could wipe my conscience of some stupid mistake I made 10 years ago.

So, you heard it here, kids. Cloning gets you nothing but trouble, unless you need closure with dead relatives.

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