weaktwos

Maximus, my little blind angel of a feline, had a wee bit of an accident today. He is an immense boost to the ego, for he loves to follow me everywhere.

And so, on this fateful day, he followed me to the restroom. My trip to the restroom began as it always had, a hurried shuffling through the house to the master bedroom, then to the vanity, and finally into the petite "chamber of secrets" where "her majesty's throne" and the tub is located. All the while, I deftly dodged my cats' foolish attempts to kill me by walking in front of my feet. I'm so used to it, now, I'm barely cognizant of their proximity.

I perform the standard ritual: the unbuttoning of the pants, the foisting of the toilet seat lid, and finally the coup de gras. Yes, the coup de gras. That fluid motion where you spin and yank down your pants.*

It was during this magnificent coup de gras when Max's destiny went down the crapper. In his haste to be closer to me, he jumped upon the toilet. The toilet with the upturned lid, it's gaping maw crying up to the heavens.

Meanwhile, I have completed my pre-toilet twirl, and am facing away from the toilet, beginning my journey towards greater abdominal comfort.

At this moment, I heard sounds I don't normally hear from the toilet, at the same time noticing that a little white and gray streak passed the outer-reaches of my peripheral vision. A little flurry of paws, followed by a sploosh.

"Eek!" I exclaimed and began to pirouette to rescue my little four-legged adventurer. If he were a basketball, he would have entered the hoop (the toilet ) with nothin' but net.

Anyway there are some things to be thankful about with regard to this tale:

a. he did this before I used the toilet.
b. he did not flail, hiss, or try to claw his way out of the situation.
c. it was pretty darn funny.

*This assumes you have not already pulled down your pants from the very beginning, and went scooting to the bathroom.**

**Kids, don't try this in public.