Saint-a-Day book

[weaktwos]

Saints fascinate me. I detested Medieval art until I realized that the paintings were telling stories, often about saints who died horrible deaths. For example, the Crocker Art Museum in town has a painting in their collection of Saint Blaise.

Now that I know the painting conveys elements of who that Saint was and how they died, I have a new respect for Medieval art, as well as a new layer of creepiness.

It helps to remind us how cruel we humans can be, even with the pervasive levels of religion which tells us to love one another, be compassionate, and not act like an asshole (some of the ten commandments cover that).

Like Blaise, the patron saint of throats, was attacked with iron carding combs and then beheaded. Isn't that the neatest? The torturers at Abu Ghraib got nothing on the torturers of old. Sure enough, in Saint Blaise's painting, he's holding a lovely little carding comb.

See if you can guess the way the Saints died in this painting called "The Holy Helpers". Yes, before there was Hamburger Helpers, there were Holy Helpers. Check out the dude who is holding his own severed head! No, it's not the Sleepy Hollow dude!

Anyway today's a big day for small Saints.

We have:
Saint Vaast
Saint Amandus (perhaps some knew him as Amandushugginkiss)
Saint Dorothea (this one is a two-fer. Two virgins named Dorothea took one for the Holy Team in ways that this book does not expand upon)
Saint Guarina
Saint Silvanus (Perhaps the Patron Saint of lightbulbs?)

Comments

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

Why does it look like one of the Holy Helpers has a baby grafted to it's head?

[taogrl.livejournal.com]

And people wonder why catholic school children have weird senses of humor.

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the saint in question was martyred by being beaten to death by a baby, which also should have been canonized. But honestly, I don't know. I'll have to research that. ;-)

[modeleccentric.livejournal.com]

Umm, Amen to that? ( Running so he doesn't get swatted by the nuns with steel yardsticks.)

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

If you get martyred for being a smart ass, I don't think you'll be canonized. But I'll make a goofy two-dimensional painting in your honor.

[modeleccentric.livejournal.com]

Oooohh, Cool, for if I am not divine enough, and Vatican knows that Iconoclasts seldom are, I will wait for you 2D drawings and maybe you can "salt" them with "stigmata" "efflufia" amd "B.O.",not to mention back hair, beacause the Church NEEDS a hairy Saint ( Carrigan is alraedy canonized in his little masters of theology head, the hairy drain clogging little wannabe Wop.. )