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[personal profile] weaktwos
Alright, let us go back in time to AD 270 to the "Woman Empiyah"(as I affectionately like to call it). Valentine was a priest who was arrested under Claudius the Goth. He confessed his faith and then spoke disparagingly of Jupiter and Mercury. The Romans were easing up a bit, because probably a few years earlier, that was grounds for killin'. But, maybe like the Goth's modern day representatives, Claudius was more morose than murderous. Valentine was committed a magistrage named Asterius. Valentine converted him and his family via some handy-dandy illness curing. Then Claudius got pissed because healing is so...not Goth. He was beheaded.

Now, around the same time, under the same emperor, there was a Bishop with the same name. I imagine both these Valentines had issues getting each other's scrolls. He was beheaded as well for converting some other folks to Christianity.

Wikipedia reports another Valentine that was located in Africa.

Paganly speaking, mid February was the season for pagan fertility rituals.

Warren Ellis sends us some information about the event, as well, as many of you have posted in your journals today.

Englebert goes on to write that because birds began to pair around February 14th, the custom of sending Valentines was born.

And now, to present day, the legacy of these Valentines is a mixed bag. Those who are in a relationship feel pressure to do something romantic around this date. Those who are not in a relationship feel a need, much like Claudius the Goth, to behead the Valentines. (well, not really, but they do whine a lot).

There are some that feel that Valentine's Day is a female-centric event, because men supposedly do not favor the traditional red and pink confections and treasures. As [livejournal.com profile] darness mentioned, it has been suggested that March 14th become the Atkins friendly Steak and Blowjob day. Which leads me to suggest that while Valentine's day is a day to celebrate love, Steak and BJ day celebrates true love.

S and BJ day was supposedly established by Tom Birdsey in 2002. To Birdsey and his ilk I say, "Up Yours! Keep your chocolates and flowers between your knees, if you have to, and give ME a filet mignon and oral sex, Stud Puppet."

So, where do we go from here? How can you top Steak and BJ day? What shall we celebrate on April 14th? Asparagus and Cuddling Day?

And how do I feel about St. Valentine's day? I've always thought it a disease that happens to other people. I like romantic surprises throughout the year as opposed to a planned commercialized event when the price of flowers likely goes up.

That being said, I love you all, and not just on February 14th or, historically speaking, "Beheadarama".

Date: 2006-02-15 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eyow.livejournal.com
You have a fellatio tag. That's brilliant.

Date: 2006-02-15 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Yes, I thought someone would get a kick out of that. ;-)
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Date: 2006-02-15 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Ah yes. I vaguely recall that. Black ramen. Do the other days get red and white ramen?
(deleted comment)

Date: 2006-02-15 03:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Bah! More injustice! ;-)

Date: 2006-02-15 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namfle.livejournal.com
The love is shared, mon fraire! :D

S and BJ sounds nice, but it has the same drawback as SVD; you need a partner. We need a holiday that celebrates singleness. Maybe a 'friends only day' when you spend the day either with yourself or your friends, but not with a signficant other.

Justice! I demand justice and equal treatment! I demand.... ooh, icecream *drool*

-elf-

Date: 2006-02-15 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
I think we end up ahead of the game. No kvetching over finding something special for our mates. ;-)

Date: 2006-02-15 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namfle.livejournal.com
Unless you're one of those people that truly enjoys the idea but is stymied by a lack of recipients.

*cough*

-elf-

Date: 2006-02-15 02:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doccross.livejournal.com
Instead of S&BJ Day, it should be Pie and Oral Sex Day. I mean, everybody likes pie...everybody likes sex...it's all inclusive (you singles would have to pair up for the day)...what's not to like?

You could even have cards...

Roses are read
Violets are blue
You lick me and I'll lick you.

Fish in the sea
Birds in the sky
Once we're done licking
We'll go eat pie.

Date: 2006-02-15 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Yes, groin pie for us all!

Date: 2006-02-15 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scrapdog.livejournal.com
Mmmm...fellate mignon.

Date: 2006-02-15 03:28 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-02-19 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
Keep your chocolates and flowers between your knees, if you have to, and give ME a filet mignon and oral sexPardon, where does the line form?

Date: 2006-02-19 05:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Right in front of me, handsome. First come, first serve. Or first serve, first come, or something like that.

Date: 2006-02-19 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
Well, it has been a while since I went back to visit the Bay Area... ;-)

Date: 2006-02-19 05:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
*grin*

Well, I hop over there every so often. :-) I was just over there in Berkeley today...at the Good Vibrations shop, as a matter of fact.

Date: 2006-02-19 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
Now if you'd just hop over to MA. ;-)

I used to live close to the GV shop on San Pablo - not too many blocks away, on the other side of University. 917 Virgina Street.

Date: 2006-02-19 06:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Yeah, I have to visit that part of the country eventually. I never got a chance to visit Boston.

Yup, I was right there this evening.

Date: 2006-02-19 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
Well, if you do make it out here (well, not *here*, since I'm in Jupiter, FL right now), I have a guest room. :-)

Date: 2006-02-19 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
And I have a guest room o'er here, as well. And two cats that are wicked vicious cuddlers. ;-)

Date: 2006-02-19 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
I like cats - but their dander attempts to kill me. Cruel fate.

Date: 2006-02-19 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Oh, most unfortunate. They are awesome foot-warmers.

Date: 2006-02-19 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zonereyrie.livejournal.com
Just have to think of some other way to stay warm...

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