New Rule: Don't make literary grotesque figures hot

[weaktwos]

Alright, if you're redoing a classic, like Phantom of the Opera, don't make the Phantom hot. Gerard Butler is 32 flavors of hot.

For your consideration:

This Phantom has the look that makes women say, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Terrorize my opera, please!"

Folks, this just isn't right. There's no way Christine would go off with Raoul. Sure, if 33% of the face is deformed, just keep that sassy mask on. I could totally work with the rest. The lips are fully intact. There is no way in hell anyone can appreciate the conflict for Christine. Furthermore it's not a leap for Christine to overcome the superficial deformity and unsavory tendency towards stalking and extortion when the Phantom looks like Gerard Butler.

Now, let's look back to a better time in film history where the folks involved actually wanted to help us suspend our disbelief:


Now, ladies, would you pucker up to this fellow? Regardless of whether he gave you voice lessons from behind a wall?

You give me voice lessons for free and look like Lon Cheney in this makeup, and the most you'll be getting is a hug and some free dinners.

Comments

[pacalissanctum.livejournal.com]

I first came across Mr. Butler...when he played Atila the Hun. I have a feeling the real one didn't look anything CLOSE to that, because otherwise, the raping and pillaging would have totally been excused. Mmmhmm.

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

Hah! See! This is a disservice to History!

Like Marlon Brando as Napolean...It's all just wrong wrong wrong. If they do a movie on Stalin and George Clooney plays him, I'll be pissed.