weaktwos: (High)
[personal profile] weaktwos
So, mom and I are talking. She tells me about a friend of hers who just got a new boyfriend.

This friend tells my mom that her new man has "THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PENIS".

Me: "Thanks for sharing, Ma."
Mom: "Well, I've never had a friend share that with me."
Me: "Me neither. I hope I never have to meet him. I might get elevator eyes."
Mom: "She said they both got aids tests."
Me: "Ah, so they want to have unprotected sex. Great."
Mom: "Yeah, I guess she doesn't want him to wear a johnny cap."
Me: "It's jimmy hat, mom."

Ah, that was a good laugh.

So...

Date: 2002-06-08 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimaera.livejournal.com
...didja hear about the old lady that kept a condom floating in a bowl of water on her keyboard?

Guess it said, "in order to prevent disease, keep wet and place on organ" on th package.

She says she hasn't had a cold all winter...

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-08 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clemidia.livejournal.com
(Um--was it Grandma?)

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-08 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimaera.livejournal.com
Oh no no - I GUARANTEE the gramma I have left is FULLY capable of using one of those RIGHT.

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-08 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
For animal balloons with reservoir tips?

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-10 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clemidia.livejournal.com
"animal balloons with reservoir tips"!

ROFL--you slay me, Anne!

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-11 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimaera.livejournal.com
Yes, absolutely! I've heard she can whip out a marmot in less than fifteen seconds!

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-11 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Is that what she calls the "li'l soldier"? Perhaps her mate should "prune around the branch".

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-10 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clemidia.livejournal.com
Yee-ha!

Film at 11?

Re: So...

Date: 2002-06-08 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weaktwos.livejournal.com
Well, you learn something new every day. I'll pass that along to mom. ;-)

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